Snowflakes

You've been conditioned for complacency and its preventing you from being awesome.

From when we are little, we learn to listen to what authority figures tell us and to do what we're told. Not only are we taught to obey, we are also taught not to question:

"Because I said so"
"You get what you get and you don't get upset"
"Settle down"

We're taught that fitting in, behaving ourselves, and following directions are desired states. We're taught to color in the lines, line up and stay in line. We're taught that compliance is good and conflict is bad. All of this is reinforced through the systems we put in place in schools, including standardized tests. Different is singled out, normative is reinforced and rewarded.

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Yet we revere those who break the mold, those who realize dreams, take risks, and make the world better. We celebrate creativity and "the new." We spend our time and our money to surround ourselves with the elegant, the beautiful, the joyous, the inspirational.

Instead of teaching people caution, fear of being different, and tempering their uniqueness, shouldn't we be encouraging courage, creativity, and risk-taking?

Can we reconcile wanting to be unique snowflakes and our desire for the comfort of belonging, being just one indistinguishable snowflake in a snowstorm? 

Shameless learning promotion

If you follow me on Twitter, you may have noticed that I've been promoting (read: pimping) my pre-conference workshop for DevLearn 2011, titled How to Promote Learning Engagement Across the Enterprise.

I am really excited about this workshop.

Over the past several years, I've worked with organizations on adopting new learning programs and technologies, including organizational adoption consulting of emerging tech like virtual worlds. Time after time, in organization after organization, new learning technologies are introduced with the attitude "if we have it, they will use it." Um....no. These initiatives aren't JUST a technology introduction...often they represent a cultural change. In the triad of organizational adoption (people, process, technology), most organizations focus on the technology first, sometimes on the process, and often the people are an afterthought.

For learning professionals, people are your customers. How can you make your customers happy? How can you gain new customers?

I'm excited about this workshop because I'm going to be talking about the part of what I do that most people don't usually get to see. Most of my speaking engagements focus on leveraging new technologies for learning and design strategies, but this session is going to focus on what happens after an organization says yes to innovation. Dare I say, great design is not enough?

I hope you'll join me in Vegas and practice some of the critical competencies that go beyond design: marketing, sales, first experience strategies, and data collection and analysis.

Its time to make like Don Draper and channel your inner sales lizard. Fedoras welcome.

Legends are people too

There has been much written this week about the loss of Steve Jobs and his life's (and death's) impact...he truly changed the world, not only through the products he created, but also through the inspiration he provided and his challenge for us to "Think Different."

The thing that has struck me as I deal with my own very real emotional response to his death is this: he was just a man. He left behind a wife and four children who are grieving for the loss of their husband, father. He put his pants on one leg at a time. Although I didn't know him, I'm guessing Steve Jobs experienced the same range of human emotions we all do: fear, love, sadness, frustration, anger, joy, hope...in essence and in many ways, Steve Jobs was no different than any of us.

Sure, Steve Jobs was in many ways very different than us. But what was it that made him so different? What is it that differentiates "us" from those we consider legends, if all of us are, at our core, the same? I'm sure there are many potential answers to this question, but here are mine:

• Passion: Loving what you do, believing in it, not letting anyone dissuade you from accomplishing your vision
• Intelligence: An intuitive understanding of people, processes, systems...being able to solve problems that incorporate all three
• The ability to see "bigger": Legends focus big. Big problems, big solutions. They see things that don't exist yet
• Marketing: The ability to get other people to see and believe in your vision to help you realize it
• Knowing you can do it: There's an arrogance in people who truly believe they can change the world. I'm not saying the people are arrogant...they are confident, driven, and have an unwaivering optimism that they can make things better
• Doing it: Legends do more walking than talking

Lots of people want to be legends...you see them everywhere. They call themselves thought leaders, gurus, innovators, futurists, visionaries...they do a lot of talking about what should be and spend a lot of time promoting who they are. 

What did Steve Jobs call himself? How about Mother Theresa? Ghandi? Point being...its not what people say that changes the world, its what they do. Big, focused, passionate action is what changes the world, its what makes someone legendary, and its not a secret. Steve Jobs was a man, not a superhero or a god. It was what he did that made him special.  

Can you change the world? Yes.

Can we prepare our children to change the world? Yes.

Now, will you?

Your prince isn't coming

Every night as I tuck my 5 year old in to bed, I tell her
Good night, Princess
And she giggles, and sometimes she answers back, Good night, Queen

She is my princess but not a caricature
I want to tell her, warn her
Your prince isn't coming

There is no knight in shining armor who will rescue you and with whom you'll live happily ever after
All the princes have mommy issues, daddy issues, insecurities and paralyzing fears
Princes these days are
Don Draper
House
Dexter
Monk
Womanizers, addicts, liars, psychos, killers

Even the princes manufactured in the Disney machine
Prince Eric the dreamer, so easily manipulated
Prince Naveen, the modern day Good Time Charlie
Aladdin and Flynn, thieves
The Beast, so emotionally distant he was barely human
Prince Charming who would bore my sweet princess to death

You should not settle for a prince, I want to tell her
Knowing that one day, her prince WILL come
And he will be flawed and awkward and nothing like the man she dreamed he would be

So for now, my princess
Be a warrior like Mulan
Be a scholar like Belle
Be an entrepreneur like Tiara
Find your voice like Ariel

Your prince isn't coming
But you are a princess

Livin' La Vida Loca

I've been in a whirlwind of "stuff" that has been keeping me so extraordinarily busy that I've been thinking a lot about how to get to a better, more peaceful place. Then it struck me...I'm not really a "peaceful" kinda girl.

I've been considering happiness lately; more specifically, what makes me happy. People aspire to be "content" or "satisfied." To me? That reads: boring. My God...I can't even imagine what it must be like to feel those emotions, let alone WANT to feel them. The minute I feel content, I'm already thinking "what's next?"

I realize that leads me to live this crazy, complicated life. I realize it opens me up to be over-extended, over-scheduled, and lately....over-tired. It creates this dynamic where I never feel like I'm caught up, where I can never quite reach the finish line. That expression "I'll sleep when I'm dead"? I don't think I was supposed to take it so literally. 

The truth is...this crazy life IS my contentment. It IS my happiness. It's messy and complicated and stressful but passionate and surprising and joyful and interesting. I may not be satisfied, but I sure am having fun. 

And yes, I was just dancing in my living room to Ricky Martin. You should too. 

Serendipity Versus History

Yesterday, I decided to start another blog.

New blog: more content, less commentary. More blue.

Considering that I only post to this one a few times a month, that may seem pretty silly. I was struggling with a problem I have, and for now, this seems like the best solution.

I really love Twitter. It provides me with continuing education and access to people to I value and respect anytime, and practically anywhere. I see pictures, read quotes, watch videos, and maybe most importantly, read lots and lots of articles, research studies and blog posts that in combination keep me informed and help me grow. I retweet a lot of these sources to share with others and to "save" as a record of the things that interest me.

But Twitter is a fast-paced, serendipitous stream. One of my biggest complaints about Twitter is that its really tough to review the history of what I, or anyone else, has posted. Yes, I use Favorites, but mostly that's for things that I want to come back to and read or review later. What I really wanted was more of a record, that could be tagged, archived, searched, of all of the things I come across that interest me.

I thought about just starting to add these items to this blog, but honestly, the thought of adding a stream of content to it violated my original intent: my blog is a focused area for reflection. I want to preserve what I've created for myself here and maintain consistency of content, structure and focus.

So I've set up another blog that will be a collection of things I find interesting, often (probably mostly) without commentary. I invite you to join me there as well :)

Better Than Wonder Woman

I read an article the other day (that I'm not going to link to) where a female executive gave advice to women starting out in their careers. Her advice? Pick what's most important to you (career or family) and focus on that. She said that its practically impossible for women to be successful both in the boardroom and raising a family, so you have to choose. 

What a crock of shit. 

When I was a little girl, I actually didn't know if I wanted to have children. I knew that I wanted to have a career, and I didn't have a lot of role models of women who were raising a family and were successful professionally. I was always a bit geeky and Wonder Woman was my idol. When I looked at her, I saw a very successful, strong woman. She was independent, but she was also alone. I did think I had to choose. 

The day I became a mom, I did choose. I knew that my career was an indispensable part of who I was and that I would not be happy filling my days solely with play dates and mom clubs. I knew that I wanted to be a role model for my son (and later my next son, and daughter), to show him that women are just as capable of pursuing professional success as men. I knew that's the kind of mom I was...not a cookie baker or exceptional homemaker, but an executive mom. 

I knew that there would be other women who made different choices and who would judge me for mine.  There are lots of times that I look at other women with envy, for their exceptional skills at home or at work. Then I remind myself: I want to have it all. That means its not going to be perfect; it means there will be successes and failures. I can see the argument on both sides: I'd be a better mom if I didn't work so hard, or I'd be more successful if I wasn't raising children. Maybe both of those statements are true. 

But maybe MY measure of success is pursuing my professional dreams, being happy and present for my children, living the example I want to set. I can't listen to what people tell me I can, or can't, have. Those naysayers may just have a different picture of what success looks like...and that's not my picture. While I still love Wonder Woman, she's no longer my role model. She may have been strong and independent, but I wonder if she was lonely. I know now, if I want to have it all, I have to be better than Wonder Woman.