I was Worship Associate at the Unitarian Society of Santa Barbara yesterday and as part of the service, I not only got to be the voice of Mother Earth (!), but I also delivered this reflection on the tension of wanting to devote your life to making the world a better place and the daily demands of life.
________________________________________________________________________________________________________
You might not think by
looking at me that I am an activist.
In college I worked in
inner city schools in Lansing, Michigan to try to prepare the kids they deemed
“disadvantaged” to go to college. Later, after grad school, I quit my corporate
Training Manager job and helped start a charter school in Philadelphia based on
the radical constructivist educational beliefs of Paolo Freire. I’ve participated
in pro-choice rallies and I even got to sit in the office of the Deputy
Governor of Pennsylvania and explain how the legislation they were passing to
heavily regulate women’s health facilities would impact the women of
Pennsylvania. I financially support
several grassroots and lobbying organizations that support movements like
equality, clean water and climate change. On Martin Luther King Day, I take my children
to work on projects in the community.
I’m proud to be a Unitarian
Universalist, in part, because of our history and beliefs rooted in social
justice. I am an activist in the deepest part of my being, wanting to change
the world, leaving it better than when I came into it.
There’s another side to the
story, though. I don’t know what happened to those kids I tutored in Lansing…I
graduated before most of them would have ever even applied to college. Two
years after helping start Freire Charter School, I had to leave and get a “real
job” because I couldn’t afford my student loan payments. That legislation in
Pennsylvania passed and many, many clinics that had provided abortion services
were forced to close their doors. By that time, I was accepting the job that
moved me here to Carpinteria.
I want to be an activist, I
want to stand up for my liberal beliefs, I want to make the world better, and
yet the demands of daily life: my financial obligations, the things I want to
be able to provide to my children and the things that simply bring me joy…these
things are in constant competition with this feeling that I can, and should,
make a difference.
I feel this most acutely
when I see the phenomenal work and effort of others. Becca Claassen, one of our
own congregation, has dedicated her time, energy…her life…to her passion:
protecting our water in Santa Barbara county and working against climate
change. I cannot tell you how much I admire her and the work that she is doing,
standing up for what she believes in. Her passion and commitment is inspiring
as an example of living our principles.
Watching Becca and others
who live their values makes me deeply consider if I’m practicing what I preach.
We all have our unique passions that drive us, and mine is gender equality. As
a woman in the tech and gaming industries, I’ve faced more bias, discrimination
and harassment than even those closest to me will probably ever know. I’m not
alone and gender discrimination in the workplace is just the tip of the
iceberg. Recent public conversations about street harassment, rape culture in
schools and college campuses and the heightened focus on domestic violence
prompted by arrests and indictments of NFL players, fuel my passion to work
toward gender equality. When I see the work of Wendy Davis in Texas, I long to
join the cause that seeks to make this country, this world, just as safe and
full of opportunity for my daughters as it is for my sons.
There is a tension. I’m not
in a position that I could quit my job and dedicate my time to gender equality,
even if that’s where my activist heart is. I have bills and kids and a house to
take care of and commitments to honor to my family and to myself.
What can I do? For me, the
sentiment “Think global, act local” rings true. Maybe today isn’t my day to
change the world in a big, public way. Maybe there will never be that day. But
today is the day that I can teach my children about gender bias and
discrimination. It IS the day that I can raise issues in my workplace that
level the playing field. It IS the day I can write blog posts, post articles
via social media. It IS the day that I can offer financial support to those who
are dedicating their lives to the causes I believe in. It IS the day that I can
jump in when I can, to march in a rally or make canvasing calls.
Today is the day that I
have shared my passions with all of you. Maybe you are a passionate feminist
too…maybe there are ways we can work together and support each other. Maybe
today is the day that you share what you’re
passionate about with someone after the service and you make a connection that
leads to action that really does make the world better.
Maybe I don’t have to be an
army of one to change the world. Maybe we are the army already.