Livin' La Vida Loca

I've been in a whirlwind of "stuff" that has been keeping me so extraordinarily busy that I've been thinking a lot about how to get to a better, more peaceful place. Then it struck me...I'm not really a "peaceful" kinda girl.

I've been considering happiness lately; more specifically, what makes me happy. People aspire to be "content" or "satisfied." To me? That reads: boring. My God...I can't even imagine what it must be like to feel those emotions, let alone WANT to feel them. The minute I feel content, I'm already thinking "what's next?"

I realize that leads me to live this crazy, complicated life. I realize it opens me up to be over-extended, over-scheduled, and lately....over-tired. It creates this dynamic where I never feel like I'm caught up, where I can never quite reach the finish line. That expression "I'll sleep when I'm dead"? I don't think I was supposed to take it so literally. 

The truth is...this crazy life IS my contentment. It IS my happiness. It's messy and complicated and stressful but passionate and surprising and joyful and interesting. I may not be satisfied, but I sure am having fun. 

And yes, I was just dancing in my living room to Ricky Martin. You should too. 

Serendipity Versus History

Yesterday, I decided to start another blog.

New blog: more content, less commentary. More blue.

Considering that I only post to this one a few times a month, that may seem pretty silly. I was struggling with a problem I have, and for now, this seems like the best solution.

I really love Twitter. It provides me with continuing education and access to people to I value and respect anytime, and practically anywhere. I see pictures, read quotes, watch videos, and maybe most importantly, read lots and lots of articles, research studies and blog posts that in combination keep me informed and help me grow. I retweet a lot of these sources to share with others and to "save" as a record of the things that interest me.

But Twitter is a fast-paced, serendipitous stream. One of my biggest complaints about Twitter is that its really tough to review the history of what I, or anyone else, has posted. Yes, I use Favorites, but mostly that's for things that I want to come back to and read or review later. What I really wanted was more of a record, that could be tagged, archived, searched, of all of the things I come across that interest me.

I thought about just starting to add these items to this blog, but honestly, the thought of adding a stream of content to it violated my original intent: my blog is a focused area for reflection. I want to preserve what I've created for myself here and maintain consistency of content, structure and focus.

So I've set up another blog that will be a collection of things I find interesting, often (probably mostly) without commentary. I invite you to join me there as well :)

Better Than Wonder Woman

I read an article the other day (that I'm not going to link to) where a female executive gave advice to women starting out in their careers. Her advice? Pick what's most important to you (career or family) and focus on that. She said that its practically impossible for women to be successful both in the boardroom and raising a family, so you have to choose. 

What a crock of shit. 

When I was a little girl, I actually didn't know if I wanted to have children. I knew that I wanted to have a career, and I didn't have a lot of role models of women who were raising a family and were successful professionally. I was always a bit geeky and Wonder Woman was my idol. When I looked at her, I saw a very successful, strong woman. She was independent, but she was also alone. I did think I had to choose. 

The day I became a mom, I did choose. I knew that my career was an indispensable part of who I was and that I would not be happy filling my days solely with play dates and mom clubs. I knew that I wanted to be a role model for my son (and later my next son, and daughter), to show him that women are just as capable of pursuing professional success as men. I knew that's the kind of mom I was...not a cookie baker or exceptional homemaker, but an executive mom. 

I knew that there would be other women who made different choices and who would judge me for mine.  There are lots of times that I look at other women with envy, for their exceptional skills at home or at work. Then I remind myself: I want to have it all. That means its not going to be perfect; it means there will be successes and failures. I can see the argument on both sides: I'd be a better mom if I didn't work so hard, or I'd be more successful if I wasn't raising children. Maybe both of those statements are true. 

But maybe MY measure of success is pursuing my professional dreams, being happy and present for my children, living the example I want to set. I can't listen to what people tell me I can, or can't, have. Those naysayers may just have a different picture of what success looks like...and that's not my picture. While I still love Wonder Woman, she's no longer my role model. She may have been strong and independent, but I wonder if she was lonely. I know now, if I want to have it all, I have to be better than Wonder Woman.